Mixed Nuts: A Review of the Dance Club Spring Show

Reviewing the dance show as a whole would be similar to reviewing a bowl of Planter’s Mixed Nuts. The only fair way to do it is to review the pieces individually, as there was no universal theme or larger picture that each piece contributed to, in the same way almonds have nothing to do with pistachios.

Pedlock: Twitchy. Too much intellectual engagement clearly stood in the way of practice time. No further comments as it would be similar to clubbing baby seals. Confusing panoply of flavors without substance, much like a pistachio.

Recipe: Fabulous, the only negative thing that can be said about this piece is that no pie was actually made. Rich with flavor and surprise, reminiscent of a pecan, one of many ingredients in pies.

Settle: If you like mysterious lines of green tape, then Settle was for you. If not, the piece may have appeared to be overly dramatic, with a very obscure meaning. With its overly complex structure, this piece was clearly the walnut.

Of Trotters and Tenors: Powerful, unpredictable and entertaining. The movements in the piece were fluid and represented something beyond the dance. Also anything with the song “Spider Pig” can’t fail. The clear Brazil nut of the show.

Thank you for Another Beautiful Day: This was the point where the Admiral Nelson Rum and Jim Bean kicked in. I honestly can’t remember this piece, which may be a testament to its generic nature or the memory erasing powers of $10 rum.

Just a Number: Full of razzamatazz and a clear satirical theme, the piece popped with energy and vibrant characters that remained memorable after the show. Each dancer embodied a distinct style and attitude that helped carry the piece, rather than uniform movements that obscured the meaning of other pieces. Packed with fun and flavor, this was the hazelnut of the show.

Brief Pause: There was nothing brief about this pause, and I loved every second of it. Is there a difference between pauses and intermissions? Much like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, the world may never know.

Storm Troopers: The best part of this piece, and in fact the entire show, was when thirty five young women dressed in gun metal grey came together to form a sphere reaching from floor to ceiling, representing the Death Star. The piece was like the majestic chestnut – full of sweet flavor and unexpected plot twists.

Beach coves, tops of parking structures, and sidewalks: All favorite places for sexual encounters. Also, a Dance Club Show piece. There was lots of rolling around on the floor in flowing skirts. We didn’t get it. I can roll around on my floor at home. This piece was most like the Mongongo nut: confusing.

When rationality grows wings, ground it: or In Our Time: We’re sure that if this piece had happened, we would have sorely offended and disturbed. This piece does not get a nut.

Inside out and and she drew: fused together in a bourbon haze, these pieces embodied striking commentaries on social injustice in post-industrial America. I’m pretty sure there were suits and spandex which confused us. This was like an almond. We didn’t like it.

Wendepunkt: We don’t know what this title means, but we liked the dance. We enjoyed the tuba immensely. If you like tubas and Phoenix, this was for you. It was rich, flavorful, and crunchy like a cashew.

1 Comment

  1. This article: Facile, condescending. Not very funny. We’re sure if the author had had less to drink, he might have written something worthwhile. This “review” should perhaps suck a nut.

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