Photo by Kelsey Cohen, Voice archives
Last Friday, everyone in the Women’s Center clutched what looked like oversized plastic Easter eggs that were not filled with candy. Their workshop leader warned everyone not to open the packages prematurely; they were Tenga eggs, flexible and doughy masturbatory tools, part of a goodie assortment that also included various lubes.
“This isn’t really the appropriate time to break them out,” their workshop leader said. “Now, to get started, if you have a cell phone, please put it on vibrate and stick it between your legs.”
Last Friday, the Women’s Center was overflowing with people trying not to sit on each other, all of them facing a table crowded with brightly colored sex toys and lube. They squeezed into the Smith/Burdick basement for a workshop by Oh Megan!, or Megan Andelloux, a board certified sexologist and nationally certified sex educator who came wielding tools of the trade to educate on “Supersex”: safe sex that’s hot and fun.
Skyler Volpe ’13, a student coordinator of the Women’s Center, said that Andelloux used to come to Conn through the Feminist Majority group, which has since been absorbed by the Women’s Center. “Her presentations were always well attended and widely talked about, so we wanted to bring her back this year,” she said. “She was glad to come back to Conn!”
“She eliminated all potential awkwardness for the audience from the beginning,” said Rachel Saltzman ‘14. “By telling us about herself and her background from the start, we could think of her as a real person and not as this strange sex speaker.”
Andelloux loosened up the crowd by chatting amiably about what led her to our campus. She worked for Planned Parenthood for nine years, but was “burned out by the bad stuff,” like the onslaught of teen pregnancy and STDs. She now wants to teach young adults that there are ways to make safe sex exciting, no matter your gender or sexual orientation.
“I really enjoyed how diplomatic and sexually unbiased she was,” said Alia Roth ’14. Andelloux took the time to explain that she would differentiate between “penis-owners” and “vagina-owners,” but these terms did not imply gender identity or sexual preference.
Her presentation commenced with a plush vulva puppet she named Veronica, the exploration of which allowed the audience to view a cartoonishly large, fluffy replica of the clitoris, the labia and even the G-spot (Stickers exclaiming “The G-spot does exist!” were included in the goodie collections).
Andelloux bluntly explained that “while deep-dicking sounds lovely,” there are more nerve endings towards the front of the vagina, and fewer the deeper one ventures. Additionally, the clitoris is about six inches long, but can get up to eight when stimulated, and is most sensitive in its upper left quadrant.
Sequentially, Andelloux hefted out an alarmingly large and apparently rare uncircumcised dildo to educate about the penis. She explained that circumcision was not the only method originally employed to suppress children’s sexual desires: the blandness of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and graham crackers were also used. They, as she pointed out, did not work.
Andelloux shared other “fun facts” throughout the presentation, including a few on the penis: length is not as important to vaginal stimulation as girth, the average speed of ejaculation is thirty five miles per hour (though the shots can reach eighty), the scrotum is constantly moving, and (lightly!) pulling down on the sack during foreplay or intercourse, will delay orgasm.
This last one was particularly useful information, because Andelloux then indicated that the average national penis-owner “lasts” about two minutes.
To demonstrate, three volunteers were called to the front of the room and instructed to thrust with invisible partners, persistently.
“You’re doing it wrong!” Andelloux yelled at them as she stood aside, smirking. “You’re not going fast enough! Faster! Ow, you’re hurting me!”
The crowd was atwitter and the volunteers were panting and laughing when she called Time; they had cleared a mere 46 seconds.
Next on the agenda was a discussion of the orgasm, which Andelloux indicated to be very healthy for the body: it lowers stress, helps sleep, can alleviate mild depression, and even allows wounds to heal faster.
She then transitioned into a talk on vibrators, tools originally created as a treatment for hysteria.
“Some people don’t want to use them because they say they want to do it ‘the natural way,’” said Andelloux. “Well, toilets aren’t natural, but they make our lives better.”
Vagina-owners on average take ten to twenty minutes to get off, which means the best way they can achieve orgasm during intercourse is through practice with self-stimulation first. “The G-spot is not like the Staples ‘Easy’ button,” said Andelloux.
The workshop drew to a close after an extensive run-through of sex toys and supplements, from lubes (the water-based kind can increase STI transmission, she cautioned; go with silicon-based instead) to strap-ons (Volpe unabashedly volunteered to wear it as Andelloux demonstrated applying a condom with her mouth) to whips and funky vibrators. A crowd favorite was OhMiBod, a dildo that syncs up with your iPod and vibrates to the beat of the song of your choice.
Andelloux took some questions the audience had written anonymously on note cards. One asked for blowjob and handjob tips. She taught some moves – the ‘bottle-cap’ and the ‘octopus’ among them – but added, “Be confident, and be enthusiastic. You’d be amazed by how far that goes.”
“The center was packed, and people looked genuinely enthusiastic and interested in her presentation,” said Volpe. “It was also really cool to see so many people in the Center. It’s a beautiful space that doesn’t see nearly enough love from the campus community.”
Said Peter Herron ’14, “Andelloux knew exactly what she was doing. I would thoroughly recommend that girls learn from the vast wisdom this amazing woman has to offer. I definitely learned a thing or two myself.” •
