Editor’s note: The College Voice is bringing back the classic advice column in a big way! Ask Suze, our in-house relationship and lifestyle guru, all the questions you’ve been mulling over. Send Suze your questions anonymously at www.sayat.me/CCCollegeVoiceAdvice.
This week Suze is joined by special guest Randy who specializes in wing-manning, pop-lock-and-dropping and listening to your heart.
Which large mammal could you take in a fight? On a date?
S: I’ve spent a long time thinking about this and after I was ridiculed for answering with ‘whale’ for dating, I would have to say that I would fight a possum. And still date a whale. They are beautiful and majestic and then I would travel the oceans.
R: I will admit, I did in fact ridicule Suze for this answer, but I will admit to the majesty of that ocean-dweller. Personally, I’d have to say I’d fight a swan. I did in fact almost fight one that was challenging me on Mamacoke island. We were fighting over the same rock to meditate on.
S: Swans are not in fact mammals though. And I doubt they meditate.
R: My speciality is pop-lock and dropping. Not biology. But fine. I’d date a panther and fight an armadillo.
I’m a freshman and struggling to adapt academically. In high school I got really, really good grades without trying very hard, but here I spend all day studying and feel like I get mediocre grades. They’re not bad grades by any means, just not what I’m used to getting in high school. Am I doing something wrong?
S: As someone who spent 85% of her college experience in the library and is now a senior wondering what happened, I would have to recommend that while studying is important having other adventures are too. The transition to college is challenging and many people find that even though they work hard, they don’t get the same grades they did in high school. It just takes some time to adjust to the workload and your other responsibilities. Talk to professors, visit the ARC and above all don’t stop trying or stress yourself out too much. Do your best but there are other things in life that are just as important.
R: I second that Suze. My narrative is actually pretty similar to yours anonymous questions asker. I did jack in high school and got away with it. College really cranks up the heat, but if you’re like me, you’ll rise to the challenge when you find something you’re passionate about. If you’re feeling burnt out in the classes you’re taking now, try out others ones in different departments. While grades matter, finding your subject of interest and cultivating a relationship with the professors is vitally important to getting to most out of the academic sphere at this place.
Dear Suze, I’m hooking up with a guy who seems super into me when we’re together but gets kind of weird and awkward when we run into each other around campus or in town. How do I tell if he’s really into me?
R: Well, everyone displays affection differently. However, we’ve reached a point where we are too old for games. Perhaps the awkward comes from him not really knowing where you stand either. Try to have an open dialogue next time you’re alone. No games, just ask him what’s up.
S: I agree with Randy. We are too old for this nonsense and it’s SUPER important to learn how to be an adult about these sort of things. If you feel comfortable, talk about it. Otherwise I would cut your losses and move on to someone who is not going to act like a fool when you run into them.
I’m in love with my Arabic tutor, what do I do?
R: Wait until you’re not being tutored, and ask him/her if they want to get lunch or something.
S: Wow, Randy that was some good advice. What a surprise that we’re both still single.
R: Dude, I know right? To be completely honest, anonymous question asker, it’s been a while since I’ve “asked someone to lunch.” If you do that, you’re a braver human than I. Hats off.
I’m trying not to drink this semester, but I feel as though it is hard to go out with my friends and stay sober. Should I not go out or should I find new people to hang out with?
R: Listen, drinking and partying at college is like less than .05% of the fun. Your friends will realize eventually, and if they don’t, then I think it’d be worth it to spread your social circle. That being said, engaging in inebriation is a consistent theme in a lot of our lives. Try to open a dialogue with them to let them know where you’re coming from. If they’re having wine night, you bring the cheese. Stay within your comfort zone, know when you want to leave. I promise, you won’t be missing out on anything.
S: I am a HUGE fan of taking a night off and just spending some time in my room watching TV or reading. I also am a proponent of hanging out with different types of people as a way to mix up your friend group and to try something new on the weekends. If you are unhappy hanging out with your friends at the moment, try something else. Doesn’t mean you can’t hang out with them at other times during the week but when it’s a Thursday or Saturday night you either do your own thing or reach out to another group. I agree that not drinking when other people are can be a challenge and it’s something I struggle with too, but ultimately it’s about doing what’s best for you. Your real friends will support that no matter what.