I felt like we were cattle, constantly ushered from place to place mindlessly for the days following that Very Uncomfortable rainy move-in morning. We were freshmen, something between tourists and residents in this new environment and that made us needy, clingy and isolated all at once.
And as much as we Did Not Want to get involved with the awkwardness of introduction after introduction, personal-space-invading ice breakers and the whole freshman status in general, we could not break away from the herd; the ability to Put Up With It depended on trusting the idea that friendship could be built out of the common interest of a color or number.
Even if we knew that we probably would never see these people ever again.
Throughout the Awkward that embellishes the freshman orientation experience, I did two things: constantly checked my phone to see how many minutes were left of whatever Awkward was in effect at the time before the beginning of another Awkward and tried to think optimistically about how the experience would make a great story to tell in a more dry, less Awkward future.
Here’s the thing about orientation: it throws one into a very unfamiliar setting filled with that proverbial Awkward and thus forces one to seek out a method of survival, regardless of pride or self-esteem issues.
And if giving into that first Awkward means getting through the day without feeling like a complete loser works, then so be it. Many opportunities, you will tell yourself, lie ahead and, with hope, those opportunities will leave you feeling less like the clingy, invasive specimen that you have become. Though, granted, everyone else around you is a clingy, invasive specimen so that sole fact just exacerbates the torturous Awkward in the present.
But, then again, that’s the beauty of orientation, in a way. Yes, it is Very Awkward and, at times we Do Not Want to partake in the planned activities, but at least those few days of being herded around like cattle lead up to the freedom that we had been expecting out of the college experience — even if that freedom came with an automated ability to say, “Hi, I’m ____ and I’m from ____” (in the same tone every time) without thinking about how Awkward it just sounded.
