Photo courtesy of The Creative Exchange/Unsplash.
I consider myself to be a fine surveyor of cereals; it is not uncommon for me to debate the merits of several cereals with friends over dinner. My personal, and rather unconventional, favorite is Kix. Everyone knows the catchphrase, “Kid tested. Mother approved,” but Kix’s place on my heart lies in its subtle sweetness and persistent crisp core even after the puffed exterior has long been soggy.
A good friend of mine, and a frequent interlocutor, prefers something a little more to the point. Cap’n Crunch, characterized by a peculiarly neckless but nonetheless friendly sailor, is cherished for its abrasive effects and variety of flavors (French Toast, Peanut Butter, Crunch Berry – “Give me that Berry Crunch!”).
An oft unexplored option is the combination of different cereals. A medley of cereals is a pleasing alternative to the hot-line any night in Harris. On an ideal night a mix of crunchy Grape Nuts, Honey Nut Cheerios and a little Cracklin’ Oat Bran goes a long way to making up for the Beef Thai Juan. As an aside, the aforementioned entre is an insult to my palate and payment.
But to get to my point: upon my arrival to Harris it took me about thirty seconds to realize that the transition from some semblance of an enjoyable dining experience to a depression-inducing walk to north-campus was complete. Twice, in this short year, has the line into Harris stretched outside into a winding line around the Opatrny Family Plaza. The dining facilities last touches of homey comfort, Crackle and Pop, as well as the Smacks frog, have been removed and where their sun-stained bodies’ outlines may have stood for freshman to question a fresh coat of paint has been applied.
This egregious behavior may have gone without consequence except that it seems that the removal of these mascots correlates also to their removal of the represented cereals. I understand the process, as I am sure most do by now: we have the opportunity to vote for cereals at the end of each year at the Taste of Harris.
It seems, though, that by a mean-spirited conspiracy of the Class of 2009 we are all subject to Cookie Crisp in place of Rice Krispies, Cracklin’ Oat Bran or Life among other classic and delicious cereals. We have “Cookies for Breakfast” instead of some of the most versatile and highly rated cereals of all time. I understand that our current selection of cereals is currently diminished and that we might otherwise have Rice Krispies (or other cereals). This is an absurd replacement, though. Instead of being able to make Rice Krispie Treats in the microwave when we would otherwise have stale donuts, we have little puffed corn cookies with chocolate chips.
I decided to test my long-held hate for Cookie Crisp recently. My initial reaction was not immediately negative. I gave it a fair shot. Upon a second bite, though, once the milk had seeped into another mock-cookie, I knew that I was done with my experiment. Rather than have each and every one of you test this for yourself I will only ask that you take my word for it so as not to promote a false belief in the popularity of this insult to sensibility: Cookie Crisp is below you. I believe it is appropriate for a student-ban on the consumption of Cookie Crisp to be enforced in all dining areas. It is time that we move on from childish notions of what makes a cereal good and enjoy cereal for the right reasons: a mysterious relationship between cereal and milk; a changing experience of the contents of our bowl as the milk and grain become one; the subtle flavors; and finally the realization that cereal really might be the best dining option in our dining halls.
Note: A recent napkin-note response offers the hope that Rice Krispies, at least, will return to the cereal offerings.
