So Fall Weekend came and went. My parents came down; we went out to dinner; I introduced them to my friends; my friends introduced me to theirs; it was nice. I tend to enjoy stuff like that. Meeting parents is always fun on some “let’s see how overly nice and polite I can be” level.
But this year was different. This year I’m a senior. No more freshman year, How do you like Conn so far? questions from parents. No more What are you planning on majoring in? or Where are you thinking of going abroad? questions from sophomore and junior year. This year, shit got serious. Over and over again it was that dreaded So, what are you planning on doing after you graduate? Are you applying for jobs yet?
This overwhelming focus on my post-Conn life left me frustrated. Parents, professors, students, and siblings all seem to be obsessed with what we will do next year. On one level it makes sense – in less than a year the senior class’ lives will change dramatically. But with all these questions there seems to be an implicit issue that is being overlooked. Is getting a job the only option next year? Is not starting your career in June a waste of your time in New London? Or, to the contrary, may the best option be doing something completely different? Do we consider those options enough?
As we grow into our adulthood in America, success becomes the main focus of our lives. And for as long as this country has existed, success has been defined simply – excelling in academics, politics, medicine, law and business. Past Americans strove to “better” themselves by building up income and accolades. They defined themselves by their job and their achievements.
They now wonder why our generation seems so apathetic, so immature, so unmotivated. We’re told that we’re not growing up fast enough, we’re spoiled, our attention spans have shrunken so heavily that it’s become impossible for us to care that much about any one thing. But they’re missing the point. Does “growing up” have to mean becoming responsible, career-minded adults striving for success in the same way our parents did? Make your own money, sure. But following a career-path directly mapped out by my major isn’t always the best thing for a twenty-two year old right out of college. Is finding a job, moving to a big city and working a nine-to-five (if not more) really the most useful way for me to spend my time?
There is no need to buy into a particular concept of success. You’re allowed to figure it out for yourself. A true waste of our liberal arts education would be to blindly follow whatever our parents laid out for us. A college education should drive students to pursue an identity that is well-informed and curious about both themselves and the society around them. And that understanding teaches us that our education grants us a lot of opportunities to follow a lot of different paths.
The great part about a liberal arts education is that it is open-ended. It is more focused on developing a person and a thinker than a particular trade, and so it gives us options. We have options with what we can do with the next few years of our lives, and we’ll have options after that, too. There isn’t just one path to follow. And that’s a good thing.
Moving into our early and mid-twenties, if that means saving up some money and traveling the world with a backpack- go for it. If that means waiting tables and serving coffee, go for it. If that means moving to New York City and working from 8 AM to midnight at a law firm, go for it. Do whatever you want.
Just do yourself a favor and think about it first. Do something that will make you happy. Don’t waste your twenties in a model you will be stuck in until you’re 65. You can be middle-aged when you’re middle-aged. Right now, be in your twenties.
The questions What are you doing after Conn? and Why are you taking so long to grow up? frustrate me to no end. They reinforce a way of life that was not determined by you or me or anyone else our age, but by people who came before us, people who are not us. Such questions hinder our generation’s ability to self-discover and in the end weaken our collective identity.
As you leave this school, don’t just move from one stage of your life to the next. Think about it first. What is success to you? What will make you happy? How can you attain both of those goals? They’re not easy questions to answer, but figuring them out is worth your time and energy.
(Photo credit: Nevena Deligineva)
