Happy parents with a happy student.
We have yet to experience fall—the campus is colored with green leaves on the sidewalks and the sun continues to sneak in Indian summer rays spontaneously. Nonetheless, our school hosted its famous Fall Weekend, also called Alumni Weekend, Harvestfest and Parents Weekend, on Friday, October 21 and Saturday, October 22.
The component of this phenomenal weekend that struck me as riveting was the “parents” element. I say “parents” because the college does not only host the parents of the students, but also their extended family, friends and their pets. The Green turns into an area for family picnics circled around what looks like a Conn Coll dog show. The “parents” part of Fall Weekend caught me by surprise, especially as a freshman. As a Turkish student, I certaintly didn’t anticipate experiencing a flux of parents coming on campus during my second month in the U.S. I was dealing with the culture shock pretty well until I found myself lost in the vision of family trees full of people. I went to an international school in Ankara, which shared its campus with one of the biggest universities in the city. My fellow students were from all over the world, including many from America. Still, I grew up in an academic environment where parents remained virtually out of sight.
I definitely look forward to spending time with my close friends’ parents, but even to this day, I remain slightly dazed by the concept of Fall Weekend. My different cultural orientation is responsible for my ongoing infatuation with Fall Weekend. In Turkey, going to college is a sign of liberation from one’s family. Yes, many students live in their parents’ house, but maybe because of the lower rates of tuition or the more private family life, it is considered out of sorts to be seen with a flock of family members on campus for any Turkish college student. Students are not embarrassed to be seen with their parents, but there are not enough reasons for why the parents would want to be exhibited as a part of their child’s unique role as a student.
A friend of mine explained the reason for why her parents were coming to Fall Weekend. She said, “They want to make sure that their money is going to the right place.” Doesn’t the school ask for more money (donations) when the parents come for the weekend? Isn’t it better for them to simply ask their children about the school to make sure that their money is going to the right place?
Before I came to the States, the common perception of my family and friends, including the ones that are not Turkish, was that America produces a generation of young people who are independent and programmed to be self-sufficient as soon as they turn eighteen. In awe and envy, people would refer to the stories they have heard about American students paying their own tuition and renting off their parents’ cars by working while studying. These perceptions are certainly true in some cases. But, having been at Conn for more than three years and living through three Fall Weekends, I came to realize that the type of bond between a college aged student and his/her parents is very different compared to the family life in Europe and elsewhere. Even though the rest of the world only watches Hollywood movies reflecting eighteen-year-old American students almost completely liberated from their parents influence, the monetary needs and the public image of liberal arts colleges depend on the explicit and presentable close ties between students and their family. •
