Fantasy Football Stock Market

Do you devote your Sundays to relentlessly checking NFL box scores online? Does your main form of procrastination involve shouting profanities at ESPN’s scoreboard? Do you force your nauseous, hung-over self to wake up at 12:45 in the afternoon to make any last minute scratches to your injury-ridden lineup? If any or all of these instances are the case, you must be a Fantasy Football addict, much like myself.

You have no need to worry. I’m here to help… Help you win you league, that is! If you follow these two simple trade suggestions then even you can be rolling in fantasy points in just a matter of days. Here I suggest – nay, demand – one player to trade away and one player to trade for, that can help you win the bragging rights, beer, money, trophy, or pride you deserve.

SELL OF THE WEEK!

Shonn Greene: Frankly, Shonn Greene is not a good running back. He has ridden the prolonged hype surrounding the inexplicably dominant 2010 playoffs and only has a starting job in the NFL because of coach Rex Ryan’s blind commitment to mediocre football players. Prior to this week, Greene was averaging a paltry 2.8 yards per carry and ranked dead last in Pro Football Focus’ Elusiveness metric. He was taking the majority of the carries on the league’s poster child for how not to score the football. With offensive threats Santonio Holmes and Dustin Keller sidelined and the Holy Tim Tebow experiment proving more comical than productive, the Jets O is quite sad.  A “touchdown friendly” back, Greene has only found the end zone once and has proven completely inept as pass-catcher thus far.

What’s that? The dude racked up three touchdowns and 160 yards this week? How can you bash the guy after a performance like that? The answer is simple: the Indianapolis Colts run defense is horrendous. The Bears ran all over them for 120 yards and three scores, Maurice Jones Drew tacked up a cool 177 yards back in week three and even the Packers managed 140 and a TD on the ground against Indy’s hapless defense. Shonn Greene’s fantastic performance this week is a product of the situation, not the player. The ghost of Curtis Martin could have come out of retirement and dropped a C-note on the Colts. Week Six will be the best fantasy week that Shonn Greene will have for the rest of his career. Ain’t a better time to sell high, friends.

Players I would be happy to get for Shonn Greene: Mikel Leshoure, Ben Tate or William Powell.

BUY OF THE WEEK!

Matthew Stafford: Take a second to imagine that you spent a first round pick on Stafford at your draft this offseason. You keep hoping he finds that magic, meshes with Calvin Johnson and rips off a 35-point week. Stafford was assumed to be a lock for 5,000 yards and 40 or more touchdowns and he was supposed to push the Rodgerses, Breeses, and Bradys for fantasy’s best. That’s why you boastfully selected him ninth overall. Alas, the young Lion hasn’t found his roar and you’ve found yourself debating whether to start the kid over 29-year-old rookie, Brandon Weeden. You gotta make a big move if you want your 3-4 Stafford Infection to find a way into the playoffs… so you sell.

Back to reality. You’re a smart fantasy owner. You must be if you’re still reading this article. So let’s go ahead and assume you’re 5-2. You like your team but don’t love their chances going forward with a streaky QB at the helm. Mystic Rivers and Vick-in-a-Box just won’t make the cut if you really want that Shiva Trophy. Make a stand and go after Stafford.

If you dig deep into the statistical archives, you find that Detroit has actually been its own worst enemy. Despite ranking second in yards per game, they have struggled to convert third downs (23^rd in the league). This is why Lions kicker Jason Hanson is second in the NFL in field goals. They’re nearly top ten in time of possession but sixth worst in accruing penalty yards. My point here is this: there is nothing fundamentally wrong with Stafford, Calvin Johnson or the Lions offense. Rather, this has been an undisciplined team that needs to get its act together and perform at the high level they have proved they can. I believe that talent wins out in the Motor City, Coach Jim Schwartz re-instills a championship mentality and Stafford posts the numbers we know he can.

Grab the first round talent for a second half surge and ride him like Mufasa at a wildebeest party…Oh, too soon?

Players I would be happy to give up for Matthew Stafford: Ben Roethlisberger, Michael Vick, Matt Schaub, Philip Rivers, Tony Romo, Andy Dalton or Cam Newton.