With the holiday season right around the corner, it has become more and more noticeable just how many different movies and songs there are about Christmas. Here’s my take on the good, the bad and the Biebs.
Top Movies:
The Grinch: I am referring to the full-length movie starring Jim Carrey. This is one of my absolute favorites to watch gearing up for the Big Day, primarily because it is beyond hilarious. Carrey is a laugh riot in the silliest, most immature way possible. It’s so worth a watch.
Holiday Inn: This is an oldie in black and white. Though it technically does not pertain just to Christmas, it stars Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, so where can it go wrong? It is about a former “show biz” star that opens an inn only open on the holidays and has some amazing dancing.
White Christmas: Another Bing Crosby film (man, that guy sure loves Christmas!) but with Danny Kay as his sidekick. This film is a classic, and, personally, I never get tired of it. Kay is hilarious, and the ending still moves me even though I’ve seen it every year since I was five.
It’s a Wonderful Life: I don’t know about other families, but it is a tradition for my family to watch this movie on Christmas Eve. It is such a sweet movie — a total classic. I also love the way Jimmy Stewart talks.
A Muppets Christmas Carol: As a freshman in high school, I was forced to read Charles Dickens’ famous work but must say, the Muppets did a far better job. I’ll admit, I’m a huge Muppet fan, but they make the dark, dreary tale of Ebenezer Scrooge funny and sweet.
Home Alone: Oh, Macaulay Caulkin…how cute you were as a young child. I wish you had never grown up. I loved this movie as a child when the slapstick humor was enough for me. But as I got older, I still enjoyed it, especially for the way it pokes fun at adults.
The Polar Express: The only word to describe this movie is epic. The story is a classic — one that I read when I was younger, and one that I will probably read again this year. Tom Hanks is amazing, and this movie is great for all ages.
Love Actually: Okay, this one is rated R for a reason, but it is still wonderful. The multiple stories that intertwine (unsuccessfully copied by the makers of Valentine’s Day) are perfect and all have endearing, sometimes bittersweet endings.
Top Worst:
Home Alone 2: Whoever thought this was a good idea must have been smoking something, or just had dollar signs in their eyes. In my experience, sequels are hardly ever a good idea, unless you’re the makers of Toy Story.
A Christmas Story: Many people that I know love this movie, but I hate it. It is a pointless film about a Red Ryder Air Rifle and the materialistic views of Christmas.
The Nightmare Before Christmas: This is another movie that many people like. I would like it, too, if I were Helena Bonham Carter and married to Tim Burton. This movie is creepy and demented. It reminds me of people who watch Gremlin at Christmastime. Is this the time of the year to be scared shitless or to be in the Christmas spirit?
Santa Baby 1 & 2: These are officially the worst Christmas movies ever made, and they made two of them. Jenny McCarthy should have known when to say enough.
The Santa Clause 2: The first one was bad enough, really.
Christmas Songs Revamped: Naughty or Nice?
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” by Judy Garland: I like to listen to this song when I’m decorating my Christmas tree. It is a classic, which premiered in the movie Meet Me in St. Louis, and it will never get old. And no matter what Christina Aguilera does vocally with it, this song is just better in its original form.
“Here Comes Santa Claus” by Elvis Presley: Not exactly a “revamped” version of this song, but it is a cover that Elvis did of a Gene Autry song. Elvis’ voice is so deep and comforting. It’s another good putting-up-the-tree song.
“12 Days of Christmas” by Straight No Chaser: This is a hilarious parody of the classic Christmas carol done a cappella style. It makes me laugh every time I hear it, especially when the group switches from the carol to a Christmas version of “Africa” by Toto.
“Christmas Can-Can” by Straight No Chaser: Another good one if you’re looking to get away from the traditional songs of the season. They have fun criticizing the materialism associated with the Christmas season, and also the notion of other holidays including Hanukah and Kwanza.
“All I Want for Christmas” by Dirty Boyz: This is one hilarious song. The band incorporates The Flight of the Sugarplum Fairies into a rap song, playing off of the Mariah Carey version. Christmas gets crunk real fast up in hizzle!
“Last Christmas” by Taylor Swift: Though this Wham song was awful back in the ’80s, you can’t help but love T. Swift’s rendition. Her “coun-tray” version of the song is lovable and makes the silly lyrics a little better.
“Drummer Boy” by Justin Bieber, featuring Busta Rhymes: Wow, a dub-step version of “Drummer Boy?” Did not see that one comin’. J. Biebs has a decent tone while singing the lyrics, when he is singing the real song. He adds a lot of extra lyrics that sound like they’re meant to be provocative, but (surprise, surprise) they’re not. Busta Rhymes does the exact same thing, rapping, “gather ‘round the mistletoe y’all.”
“A Child is Born” by Rihanna: This ancient song set to a reggae beat? I guess the hula was taken. In all seriousness, this song makes me concerned for the future of Christmas music. What will become of it?
“Christmas Tree” by Lady Gaga, featuring Space Cowboy: As if Justin Bieber did not do it well enough, Lady Gaga and Space Cowboy take what used to be “Oh Tanenbaum” and made a club version, with that special, and yet crazy, Gaga touch.
My biggest issue (because Lady Gaga’s christmas song is so bad, I can’t put my arguments into a coherent response) is with A Christmas Story being on the bad. WHAT?
Yeah, it’s pro-consumerist, but maybe it’s a satire? It’s definitely a satire on how mediocre Christmas-time really is, when you take a step back, but it also gives us a reminder of how wonderful, mysterious, and areligious Christmas really is to children. And the writing? Fitzgerald is, right now, shitting himself in his grave, knowing how close it comes to his excellence.
Watching it right now. That scene when the kid licks the flagpole? PRICELESS.