I’m currently a sophomore at Connecticut College in New London, CT. I come from Washington, DC, and I went to St. Albans School (STA), so I know Georgetown Prep well. I owe so much to STA for how its teachers shaped me as a person and taught me how to learn. The moment I started St. Albans in A Form (sixth grade), I was aware of the culture of masculinity that, not unfairly, stereotyped prep schools like mine. I write to you because I know STA, and I know how toxic an environment a school like STA can be at times. Most importantly, however, I write to you because I believe your story.
Yes, there were times at STA where “boys were boys,” but there were other times where self-reflection was the very least we could do. When I was a sophomore, students at our sister school National Cathedral School (NCS) compiled a Google Doc of various stories of the “unwanted sexual advances” of my classmates and brothers at parties. The Washington Post ran an article that included the letters from both heads of school at STA and NCS addressing the issue. We then ran into further trouble that same year when yearbook pages of seniors at STA were found to be sexist and overall not representative of the values that institutions like St. Albans want to espouse. More letters from our respective school heads followed, but nothing more.
“Nothing more” seems to be the theme of the #MeToo movement. Survivors are silenced because apparently there is a statute of limitations on traumatic experiences, but only when it comes to women who are the ones telling the stories. When we finally decide to listen, those who come forward to relive what I can only imagine being the worst moment of their lives, we label them as “emotionally unstable,” “forgetful,” “that woman.” Anything to discredit their story and ignore the real problem.
Over the past few months, I have thought about my time at STA. Personally, I owe the world to the school. I credit my teachers with shaping me as a student, something no one else could do. I still love St. Albans. But there still is a culture of machismo that pervades the school. I can’t fault them for that. It is an all-boys school. But there is a line that is, on occasion, crossed. Something has to change. How can we, one of the top private prep schools in the nation, claim some sort of misguided and entitled superiority over others when we ourselves do almost nothing to address sexual misconduct allegations?
This is where you come in, Dr. Ford. Your testimony on October 4 gave me hope that we would change the attitude that surrounds those with stories like yours. You did this even more so than any of the other survivors that spoke out in the height of the #MeToo era. Perhaps it was because of my proximity to the schools involved and old memories from sophomore year that got dredged up. I thought that you speaking out would help. I was sadly mistaken. The Senate Judiciary Committee’s Republican members couldn’t even face you themselves. They hired a prosecutor because apparently our elected officials now can’t respectfully ask questions to a woman. They went through the motions, for optics. And yet, in the face of it all, you kept your head held high, stood firm and spoke your truth. Nothing more can, nor should, we ask of you. You did everything to remain composed and more. I believe that Senator Booker said it best, “your brilliance shining light onto this, speaking your truth is nothing short of heroic.”
At the time of writing, Susan Collins has declared that she will vote “yes” on Kavanaugh’s confirmation, all but ensuring he will be the tie-breaking vote on countless issues that affect women and survivors across the nation. You are the last person that needs to be told this, but every vote to confirm him tomorrow is bigger than just a Supreme Court Nomination. It’s an affirmation that we as a country do not take sexual assault survivors seriously. You made a personal sacrifice that put you and your family in the spotlight and we as a nation let you and all other survivors across the nation down.
Our problem, one that extends throughout the nation, and not just on the Cathedral Close, is one of passivity and apathy. We too often think that stories like yours do not affect us and that they never will. This breeds a culture of Americans, especially men, who turn their backs on survivors. This cannot continue. It’s time for the young men at St. Albans, Georgetown Prep, Landon, Woodrow Wilson HS, and Connecticut College to let their female peers take the lead on this issue. You did your part in trying to change the narrative that silences survivors Dr. Ford, and we thank you for that. Your testimony was a masterclass in poise, and it exemplified everything we need to teach the young people of our country. You had the courage to stand up for more than just yourself. I can only hope going forward that we have the courage to listen. •
