During Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation hearings, John McKnight, Dean of Institutional Equity and Inclusion, sent out a statement regarding freedom of expression on campus. Knowing how contentious and ugly the battle in the Senate was, Dean McKnight and the College did exactly the right thing at the right time. It wasn’t a coincidence that they released the statement in tandem with the Kavanaugh hearings. In a handful of short paragraphs, the College reminded us how important civil discourse is, emphasis on civil. Though the statement was fairly boilerplate, it hit all the right notes and it did its job admirably. The College showed the world what values should be held on to with an iron fist although we can let them slide from our fingers.
Freedom of expression, however, does not mean say what you want and there are no consequences. That’s an important distinction that Dean McKnight makes. Many of our leaders conflate freedom of speech with impunity. Instead of following in this path, you must fight for what you believe in with passion and do it whenever and wherever you can. Do so with care and the knowledge that there will be those who disagree with you. All you can hope is that they lend you the same amount of respect that you give to them.
The memo from Dean McKnight wasn’t just about freedom of expression. It symbolized a much larger issue facing our College and our nation. In this era of bombastic rhetoric and the shouting down of those with whom we disagree, the memo was as timely as anything. We have to hold ourselves to a higher standard because we’re better than the toxicity that settles into every corner of our nation. It’s a problem that starts at the highest levels of our government and makes its way down to the common American. It’s certainly disheartening when we see our elected officials lobbing insults, weaponizing transparency, and doing everything in their power to undermine the “other.”
This is hardly a partisan issue. Republicans are led by a man who derides the #MeToo movement in the crudest ways possible; he calls people who disagree with him losers or crazy,and he tweets anything that floats into his head. GOP congressional members fall into line, not wanting to upset the party’s balance. Democrats are no better. They are supposed to be the resistance, the ones who distance themselves from the Right, but they stoop to low levels all the same. Using DNA testing to exploit a perpetually beleaguered community, engaging in name-calling, and shouting down politicians out of restaurants. The actions on both sides fuel the white-hot fires of partisanship.
All too often, our gut reaction is that opinions that differ from our own are wrong and that’s all there is to it. The stifling of voices is a national issue that transcends party lines. Especially with the increasing polarization of the nation, we assume the worst in those who disagree with us. Both Democrats and Republicans are guilty of this intolerance. Politics has become a zero-sum game, where we have to beat the other side in order to win. But we must slow down and listen to what the other side has to say. Heed the words of Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: When given the choice between being right and being kind; choose kind.
We have to be right at all costs and anyone who disagrees with us gets bulldozed. Choosing to be kind seems like a simple enough solution, but it’s remarkable how rarely we make that choice. How can we free ourselves from the cruelty so innate in our society? To be honest, I don’t know. There is no single answer. But, it has become increasingly evident that our leaders today are at best ignorant to the consequences of their actions and, at worst, unwilling to be civil. This is a problem that rushes through our blood like a virus. The United States has never been perfect and probably never will be, but we were a country that developing nations looked up to as a model. We may no longer be seen as such and that should be a knife to the gut of our prideful ignorance.
Step one is recognizing that there is a problem. The people must be reminded of why all this matters. Why reputation matters. We have to give people a sense that there are those in our country who will fight for what they believe in tooth and nail. But, in doing so, they will not sacrifice every ounce of civility that they can spare. It’s the only way to ensure that we as a country can regain status as a respected nation.
If you, like me, are in need of a little guidance, know that there are people out there who had the intrinsic ability to see the good in people. I am reminded of the commencement speech given by Mr. Rogers at Middlebury College in 2001: “In fact, from the time you were very little, you’ve had people who have smiled you into smiling, people who have talked you into talking, sung you into singing, loved you into loving. […] They’ve always cared about you beyond measure and have encouraged you to be true to the best within you.” There is little more to say than that. Remember who raised you. Remember how much they love you and want you to be your best self. It’s a critical message that people, myself included, forget as they grow older. Be the person your loved ones imagined you becoming. It’s up to us to hold one another accountable and make sure that civility takes precedence over being our personal opinions.
The message we send to the world and to our youngest generation cannot be one of divisiveness or cruelty. It has to be one that breaks through the dark cloud of pessimism surrounding our nation. Since public servants continue to show no path forward and more Americans are overcome with feelings of abandonment, we have to realize that new and different voices must not be silenced. America is at her best when civil discourse is our first instinct.
Maybe I’m being too much of a romantic and maybe there isn’t a fix to the mess we’re in. But I am inspired and hopeful that there is a way forward when I think of the wonderful adage: “Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” I’m hopeful because I know there are people out there who want to do good and will do so in as honorable a way as they can. These few short lines are yet another reminder to remain civil but not just when it’s convenient. There is no excuse not to be. Remember, “be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle. And if you really want to see what people are, all you have to do is look.”
As we enter election season, remember the words of Dean McKnight, the words of Dr. Dyer, the words of Mr. Rogers. Their words should push us to be better than ourselves. We have the remarkable capacity to live for something greater than ourselves. We have each been afforded the incredible privilege of living in the United States. Use that privilege. Remind yourself that there is a big picture, especially when it comes to civility. We owe it to those who fought and continue to fight for American idealism. To make sure that their voices are heard is to honor their legacy. What we do between life and death is up to us. We all have a finite time on this earth. Choose kind. •
