Goodbye, Hello

In honor of the new year and those camels traveling abroad next semester, here is a farewell to the fall semester in preparation for what is to come. As the wise Sharpay Evans once said, “It’s out with the old and in with the new.”

1. Goodbye poke bowls filled with questionable seaweed salad and tuna most likely not procured from the same waters the Oyster Club uses.
2. Goodbye clumps of damp hair equivalent in size to Coffee Closet’s chocolate chip cookies. My showers will be boring without you.
3. Speaking of which, goodbye to the Walk-In at Ruane’s Den where we pretend we go to a hip school in New York City much more crunchy-granola than Conn.
4. Goodbye brown-haired boy who I have convinced myself will profess his love for me at the stroke of midnight at Festivus. 
5. Goodbye peanut butter which is either more runny than the Thames River or more dense than that Foucault reading you did Sophomore year, depending on what time of the day you go to Harris.
6. Goodbye geese poop — the bottoms of my sneakers and boots will miss you.
7. Goodbye loud first-years who have helped me find the beauty in ear plugs. For that, I thank you. 
8. Goodbye roasted (vegan) sweet potatoes from Harris — you are the light of my week, the warmth to my soul. Without you, I only eat limp spinach for dinner.
9. Goodbye radiator, which makes submarine-like noises in the evening so that I act out The Hunt for Red October and contemplate joining Wig & Candle.
10. Goodbye various sweaty limbs at the Winches and Ridges. I know we had a connection during that one song last week, but it’s over. It’s not you, it’s me and my personal bubble which you continue to pop when “your song” comes on. I know, Lizzo is great.
11. Goodbye JA Dining Hall — I will miss your focaccia and sourdough bread which reminds me what happiness is when I look down at my ARC calendar filled with assignments due next week.
12. Goodbye third floor of Shain. If you find my soul over break, please FedEx it to me. 
13. Goodbye ‘Today at Conn’ emails. Oh, wait. I will probably still be getting those abroad.
14. Goodbye eduroam — thank you for connecting with me even when the Connections curriculum doesn’t.
15. Goodbye mysterious shower stain #57, I hope you carry no strains of diseases and are simply a new Herbal Essence shampoo.
16. Goodbye MOBROC and Acapella concerts — you make me feel that being a groupie after I graduate wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Also, thank you for letting me rebrand Forever 21 crop tops and add Glee to my Netflix watch list (respectively).
17. Goodbye Scuds and N2O shows. Will I ever laugh abroad? 
18. Goodbye various sporting events I pretend to understand, but sit there frozen in fear due to my experiences from middle school gym class. *shivers*
19. Goodbye camels, faculty, and staff who usually smile back at me on Tempel Green, depending on the day. 
20. Hello Shirley Parson, please respond to my latest email about my visa.

Cheers to the Roaring Twenties! •

Plant dormitory. Photo courtesy of Sophia Angele-Kuehn.