The REAL NESCAC Mascot Rankings

Image courtesy of Connecticut College.

The Bates Student, the Bates newspaper recently published an article ranking the NESCAC mascots, and I disagreed so much I had to post my own (correct) rankings. First, it’s important to know that Bates rankings were done based on the image and quality of the physical mascot suit. There should be no world where a cow ranks higher than a camel in a mascot war. My rankings will be based on logo design, mascot creature, and colors. And to maintain the integrity of these rankings I will be leaving out the greatest mascot in the NESCAC, our beloved Humphrey the Camel.

10. Williams Ephs – I have so many objections to this one that I don’t even know where to start. Let’s start with the animal, a cow. Seriously? I don’t care if you try to confuse us by now calling yourself  “the Ephs,” it’s still bad. When you look up “what is an Eph?” the definition of a union permit comes up. Upon more digging, I learned that “Eph” is the nickname of their founder, Ephraim Williams. Lame. Plus add in the fact that their colors are purple and yellow, and their logo is the cow showing its butt, it’s a definite last-place ranking from me.

9. Hamilton Continentals – Only barely avoiding last place, the Continentals is maybe the least creative mascot of all time. White guys have enough representation, they don’t need to be a mascot. Their saving grace is their colors; the blue, tan, and white actually ends up looking pretty nice. And the logo is designed well considering their limited material. 

8. Trinity Bantams – There is nothing that can make a chicken – excuse me, a Bantam – scary. For those of you who don’t know, a bantam is a miniature chicken, usually no heavier than 4 pounds. While the colors of blue and yellow give off an LA Rams vibe, the design might be more uncomfortable to look at than the Ephs. The Bantam is giving off a pouty side-eye, with its wings on its hips (do chickens have hips?) and a scrunched up, tilted head. Trinity will try to convince you otherwise with the floor-to-ceiling mural of a bantam in their gym, but there is no reason to “fear the chicken.”

7. Colby Mules – The Mules have the potential to move up. The love child of a horse and a donkey, a mule itself has some bulk to it. However, the logo depiction could not be any less intimidating. The logo solely shows the neck and head of the mule at a side profile. Because of the side view, it looks like it’s giving you some side-eye, and the mouth looks like it’s saying the world’s least enthusiastic “yay.” Basically, it looks like a teenager who was just told they’re going mule riding with their family. The white and blue combo is nice and at least I knew what this animal was without Google’s help.

6. Amherst Mammoths – While I wouldn’t have chosen an extinct animal that hasn’t been seen in 4,000 years to be my mascot, a mammoth at least looks a little scary. Unfortunately, you don’t get to see the toughness of the Amherst Mammoth because the logo depicts only the silhouette of the beast. There is zero creativity involved in the design of this logo but the purple and white is a nice combo. As The Bates Student pointed out, too, they also have no physical mascot costume, probably because it’s hard to make a costume of a silhouette. With a little bit of effort, the Mammoths could be a contender, but definitely not a top 5 right now.

5. Tufts Jumbos – Ok time for the top 5 now. The Jumbos barely squeak their way into the top 50%. An elephant mascot could go very poorly, but this logo is done well, giving the elephant big tusks and an intimidating look. However, their colors are blue and brown. Not a light, tan-ish brown – poop brown. Not sure who thought that was a good idea, but no. Also the name, Jumbos (the chant is “go bos”), it’s just not a good combo with the poop brown. It brings…other images to mind. But I am a fan of the logo so number 5 for Tufts.

4. Bates Wildcats – A classic school mascot that prompts the need to sing in the hallways and while playing basketball, I’m impressed with how well Bates designed their logo. It’s pretty simple, parallels to the mammoth silhouette, but by putting it inside of a “B” they make the mascot their own. I applaud the creativity, and the red gives it a little bit of subconscious intimidation. And honestly, if it’s good enough for Troy Bolton it’s good enough for me.

3. Wesleyan Cardinals – A few years ago the Cardinals wouldn’t have cracked the top 5, but a recent logo rebrand has certainly helped their case. The new cardinal looks like a fighter, and it’s head kind of looks like a flame. It’s a little basic just to put the Cardinal on top of a “W” but I can appreciate the attempt to attract it to the school. Red and black are tough colors roo. All in all, the Cardinals have a solid mascot.

2. Bowdoin Polar Bears – With no known predators, a polar bear is a great mascot. It gives the message that they’re on top and fear no opponents. The logo shows this dominance. The Polar Bear towers over the “B” and appears to be staring down whoever is looking at the logo. Black and white isn’t the most creative color combo but it works. Overall, a very solid and intimidating mascot, worthy of the number 2 ranking.

1. Middlebury Panthers – Top-notch logo, top-notch animal, and top-notch colors. All around, I’m a fan of the Panthers. The logo depicts the Panther in its attack position, using the white shading to emphasize the muscles. You can see the Panther’s teeth, and they look like they could rip some flesh. The navy blue and white is one of my favorite combos, and compliment the panther logo really well. Easily the first-place mascot in my opinion.

No matter what school is on top, however, we can all agree that the NESCAC has some of the most unique mascots out there.