Photo Courtesy of Rob Brule
Norman Riker has served as Connecticut College’s Head Women’s Soccer Coach for the past 12 years. In that time, Riker has cultivated a culture of players, coaches, and loved ones that has developed into one collective family affectionately known as COCOWOSO. He has also created a reputation as a competitive force in the world of NESCAC women’s soccer, a conference that he describes as “the best, most unforgiving league in the country.” Assistant Coach and former player, Mia Hernandez, credits Riker with pushing his players to be the best they can while recognizing that “we are not just a team, we are a family.”
Recently, the program and Coach Riker experienced a loss that had nothing to do with being outscored or outplayed. Riker’s beloved wife, Gabrielle Riker ‘89, lost her battle with cancer just as this past season ended, and the impact of that loss is being felt deeply across campus.
Gabrielle Riker’s connection with Connecticut College goes much deeper than simply being the wife of a coach; she was an alum of the Class of 1989. She graduated with a degree in French, and during her time at Conn she participated in the study abroad program, spending two summers in France. According to Riker, “She majored in French, more as a metaphor for what those experiences provided her, rather than a career choice. Those summers empowered her to get out of her comfort zone, listen to her soul, …and enjoy the simple pleasures of being outside.”
After earning a degree, Gabrielle put her talent for writing and her love for the outdoors to work as a freelance writer for organizations such as The Nature Conservancy, World Wildlife Fund, and the Environmental Defense Fund, among others, and her connection to Connecticut College remained a constant throughout her life. This connection, stated Riker, “had such a natural intersection and brought together so many parts of both our lives and experiences.”
The Rikers met on Block Island, Rhode Island, and they were married there on July 19, 1997. Norm and Gabrielle raised two daughters, Isabelle and Sofia, in New York and Ohio before settling right down the road from Conn in Niantic, Connecticut in 2011. According to Coach Dave Lynch, “[Gabrielle] and Norm moved their family from Ohio so that Norm could take the head coaching position at Conn; though maybe not directly, [Gabrielle] felt she contributed and supported this program as much as anyone.” Gabrielle encouraged her husband’s passion to coach at her alma mater and was a staple on the sidelines from the very beginning. Lynch, a volunteer coach for the women’s team, is also a close friend of the Riker family. He met Gabrielle in 2014 when his daughter joined the Southeast Soccer Club and played alongside Sofia Riker, Riker’s daughter. The girls quickly hit it off, which encouraged their parents to form a lasting relationship. He notes that Gabrielle was a “very doting mom” who “was always on the sidelines or taking care of things behind the scenes to ensure the girls had a positive soccer and life experience.” Involved and present from the get-go, Gabrielle maintained her commitment from the sidelines of a smaller club to the larger college field that is Tempel Green.
During her celebration of life service that was held at Harkness Chapel on November 11, 2023, Riker shared that “when Gabrielle was with us, she brought clarity to a difficult situation, provided the answer to the hard question, added the perfect spice to the recipe, selected the right word to close out the sentence, and helped us change the perspective by encouraging us to look up at the night sky.”
The stability and comfort that Gabrielle provided her family at home translated to the Conn community. The loving woman who was the rock of her family became the backbone of the COCOWOSO program. Whether she was hosting team dinners or traveling to games all over New England, her presence on the team was felt by everyone. Coach Hernandez remembers those dinners in the Riker household as something to look forward to. According to Hernandez, Mrs. Riker took the time to get to know each of the players and to make them all feel at home.
Despite the challenges that she faced during her long illness, Gabrielle remained a supporter of Conn soccer for as long as she was able. Rob Brule, assistant coach and close friend of Norm’s, identified Gabrielle as a “rock and a beacon of light, emphasizing the importance of family – both her own with Norm and their two daughters, Isabelle and Sofia, and her extended soccer family at Conn – showcasing what truly matters in the world today: family.” And that is the legacy that Gabrielle leaves behind. One infused with love for family and community. One defined by a passion for living and the acknowledgment that one’s mere presence can have a lasting effect.
Although the COCOWOSO family will continue to grow and expand its reach throughout the NESCAC and beyond, there will always be something missing: Gabrielle Riker. “Words can never express the loss we all feel within the program, yet, how grateful we all are to have known Gabrielle,” shares Brule. Inevitably the players that were blessed to know her will move on, and newer players will only hear of her as someone who used to be on the sidelines. But she will always be in our hearts, and she will always be a Camel. “For Gabrielle,” said Riker, “being a Camel was about instilled belief and community. The belief that she had the tools and confidence to create her own business while knowing that she has a history and place in our community.” Riker went on to say that he hopes Gabrielle will be remembered as “a smart, kind, beautiful woman. She put energy into food, the outdoors, and her family. She loved her daughters and me, and she loved watching COCOWOSO play.”
Next season and the ones that follow won’t be the same for the women’s soccer program here at Conn, but Gabrielle’s memory will remain and her place on the sideline will never be filled. Luckily, Coach Brule reminds us that “Norm is an extension of Gabrielle. A great person who truly cares about each and every player.” The coaches and friends, players and parents that make up the COCOWOSO program, as well as the entire Connecticut College community send their love to Riker and his daughters. Know that your family is so much bigger than just the three of you, and we will work hard to carry Gabrielle’s memory with us as we branch out into the world. Brule said it best: “When one Camel loses someone close, we all lose someone close.”
