Courtesy of @onelove.conncoll
Over the past two years, two Connecticut College student athletes, Cole Eichler ‘26 and Dillyn Zindler ‘24 have worked tirelessly to found and grow Conn’s branch of OneLove. Their goals in founding and building the chapter mirror those of the national OneLove mission, which is to combat cases of sexual assault by teaching prevention, recognizing the signs of unhealthy relationships, and promoting healthy relationships, whether they be romantic, a friendship, or any other type of relationship.
Eichler, who is a forward on the Men’s Hockey Team, has been involved with OneLove since before his arrival at Connecticut College. “I’ve been working with them for about three years now,” said Eichler. “My inspiration for working with OneLove comes from my best friend passing away six years ago. He and his mother were murdered by his mother’s boyfriend. Those types of things have a big impact on your life, and I want to make sure that nobody goes through that, that those tragedies don’t occur at all.”
Eichler’s heartbreaking story about his best friend is one that he shares towards the beginning of every OneLove presentation he gives on campus, presented as an example of the extreme consequences that can come from unhealthy relationships. His story is also eerily similar to what led to the founding of the national organization. OneLove was founded in response to the murder of Yeardley Love, who was a member of the Division I Women’s Lacrosse Team at the University of Virginia at the hands of her ex boyfriend, weeks before she was set to graduate. More details on the tragic circumstances that led to OneLove’s founding and the history of the organization can be found on their website.
Zindler, who is a defender on the Women’s Lacrosse team here at Conn, has been involved with OneLove since she was in high school. Her connection to OneLove is personal in the sense of her proximity to the organization’s roots. “I grew up in Virginia, and a lot of my lacrosse teammates either knew Yeardley or had siblings who knew her, so that was a big part of why I got involved [with OneLove]. It’s really become near and dear to my heart.” On the specific work that the organization does, Zindler continued stating “I think it’s interesting how little healthy relationships are talked about all around… I think that there’s something very special about how OneLove provides strong guidelines for healthy relationships, and how it is more focused on being preventative rather than reactionary. The idea is more ‘how can we avoid these horrible situations entirely’ as well as what do we do once they occur.’”
In years past, the Green Dot program has been the primary source of sexual assault related training and education on campus. Over the past few years, as Green Dot has grown less and less active on campus, Zindler and Eichler have worked hard as the leaders and co-founders of the campus’s OneLove chapter to fill that void. “We have a great web of people who are involved, but the two of us have done a lot running the show over the past two years,” said Eichler. “[Last year] we had help from Hannah McCleod, but she has since transferred. We went through the steps of OneLove National to establish [the chapter here at Conn]. We worked with CC Curtis, Mo White, and other key figures in the Conn administration and athletics department in order to establish the chapter.” Eichler and Zindler also both emphasized the importance of Nicole Powell, who is the Head of Sexual Violence Prevention on campus and Elizabeth Cahn, one of the college’s Assistant Athletic Directors in the founding and build up of the chapter. The duo also mentioned Ollie Hemphill ‘26 and Claire Sammons ‘25 as important members of their team for their work on the campus chapter’s social media page.
In the first two years of the chapter’s existence, much of the training has been primarily geared towards sports teams. Most of the varsity teams on campus have had a OneLove training presentation with either or both of Eicher or Zindler this year, and by the end of this school year, every varsity team will have had one of these sessions. The two co-founders lead the presentations, which generally last about an hour and consist of a slideshow, several educational and example based videos, small group discussions, and larger group discussions. Eichler and Zindler lead each session, while coordinating with various leaders from each team – often team captains – to make the session as meaningful as possible. At the end of each session all attendees sign the OneLove pledge. “Each year [the OneLove Pledge] will be signed and hung up in the Athletic Center, the same way the [Connecticut College] Honor Code is signed and displayed [in Crozier-Williams]” says Zindler. The chapter has also hosted several open training sessions, and is working on planning another one in April.
On the campus chapter’s specific focus on athletics in its first two years of existence, Eichler stated “logistically, going through sports has been the easiest first step on campus given [Dillyn and my] connections to that community. There’s somewhat of a revolving issue around athletics in general and sexual assault and the stigma [of not talking about it.] We want to take down that stigma. I think that Yeardley’s story of being a Division I athlete, and her ex-boyfriend also being an athlete means that this really resonates with many athletes.”
Zindler added on to these points, stating that “[as athletes] we are often a population where mental health and sexual relationship health is super impactful for us, and yet it is often neglected because we have so much on our plates. We often present ourselves as tough and that everything is great in our lives. It’s kind of an unspoken need for student athletes. We wanted to [implement OneLove] through the Athletics Department as something of a test run, with the goal of bringing it to the whole campus next.”
When asked about OneLove’s similarities with, differences from, and relationship with the Green Dot program on campus, the duo expressed a desire to work more closely with the other organization in the future. “The more we can get out of this type of training, the better” said Zindler. “Hopefully Green Dot can continue to grow a more robust following, and [OneLove] can connect with them and work with them… Ideally, down the line I would love us to be working side by side, but right now we’re just focused on what we can do. All of our team leaders [who are involved with the campus OneLove chapter] are Green Dot trained as well, and I would encourage people to do both.”
Eichler echoed this sentiment, stating “when we were starting [the campus OneLove chapter], I heard a lot about Green Dot, in particular that a lot of alumni had a strong connection to it. I think that the key difference is that Green Dot is more focused on being reactionary [when in potentially dangerous situations], while OneLove is more focused on being preventative. Both approaches are incredibly important, and both are great organizations, working simultaneously with them in the future would be great.”
When asked about the nature of various OneLove presentations to different sports teams, Eichler and Zindler both emphasized that all of their experiences working with teams on campus had been incredibly positive. “Of course it’s never an easy conversation to have, [sexual assault] is never an easy thing to talk about” said Zindler. “I think for the Men’s and Women’s Lacrosse teams it’s very near and dear to everyone because of Yeardley’s story, but all of the teams have taken it so well and with such impressive willingness to share…the teams that are loud and always have a lot to share are always awesome to work with, but sometimes it’s the quieter teams that you don’t expect to have as much to say that have the most introspective and well reflected-upon points.”
Eichler built off of this enthusiasm, highlighting all of the friendships he has forged as a result of working with OneLove on campus. “I’ve had a lot of cool and unexpected conversations with people I probably wouldn’t have talked with much otherwise,” said Eichler. “I’ve formed a lot of friendships because of these presentations that probably wouldn’t have been formed otherwise.”
Earlier this year, Eichler’s work co-leading the chapter on campus presented him with the opportunity to go to speak in front of Congress in Washington DC about the work that OneLove is doing on college campuses, along with various other chapter leaders from campuses around the country. “It was a really cool and meaningful experience to talk to our [Connecticut] state representatives, it was cool to advocate to them, even though I’m Canadian,” said Eichler. “That experience of going there and meeting other national leaders from across the country, and to form strong relationships with said leaders was really amazing and powerful.”
Though Zindler was not on that trip to our nation’s capital, she highlighted a series of moments on campus as what has been most meaningful to her about working with OneLove. “I find that people come up to me and share things with me that they wouldn’t normally share,” said Zindler. “They say that they are telling me these things with confidentiality because they know [sexual assault prevention work] is something that I value…having specific conversations with people about their relationships and friendships is really powerful and important. It’s great to have open dialogue, great to train people and stand up there and preach, but to see people come up to you and tell you that [your training] got applied is amazing. What’s even better is when they don’t need to come up to us, they just say that they took our advice and it worked out.”
The duo is hoping that in founding and leading the Connecticut College chapter of OneLove, they will be leaving a legacy that will last far beyond when they have both graduated. “The biggest goal is making [OneLove] a universal thing for the community, to get more non-athletes involved, and to continue building the relationships with current and future athletes so that everyone can experience what [the program] can do,” said Eichler. “I don’t want to force the training on anyone, but I want people to have the opportunity to understand and learn about their relationships.”
Zindler, who will graduate this spring, added to this, stated that “Cole will be here for a few more years. I’m just here for the beginning. My goal would be to have [OneLove] be universal on campus. To have it be a long lasting, robust foundation on campus that doesn’t fizzle out, but grows stronger instead… We are starting to build a leadership structure to make sure the chapter lasts here on campus. It’s all student-led, which is great, I think that makes students more comfortable about joining and knowing that they can talk to us.”
Eichler punctuated this hope, firmly stating that “when I come back to campus for my five, ten, fifteen year reunions, I want to see that OneLove is still here and going strong.”
When asked if there was one important point they wanted to leave Conn students with, both Eichler and Zindler shared the importance of trusting one’s instincts. “One thing I always say at the end of training, or whenever I’m leading a group discussion, a big thing is to trust your gut,” said Zindler. “If you feel that something isn’t right in your relationship, or in somebody else’s, if you feel that feeling, most likely something is up and it can never hurt to ask. There were so many people in Yeardley’s story that should’ve asked, and who always say that they wish they did. Check on your friends. It can never hurt to ask them or yourself if you’re okay.”
Eichler responded to and built upon this, stating “that exact thing haunted me for years, not being able to check in with my friend. You sit there and look in the rearview mirror, and think about what I could have done. Trusting your gut is huge.”
Though Connecticut College’s OneLove chapter is still quite young, the work that it has already done on campus, made possible by the unwavering commitment of Eichler, Zindler and so many others speaks volumes to both its value and its potential. The duo told The College Voice that a “Color Run around campus” in honor of Yeardley Love is being planned for sometime in April to continue to raise awareness. Sexual assault and unhealthy relationships are issues that plague every college campus around the country. As is emphasized on the OneLove website, one in three women will experience some form of sexual assault in their lives, and the same is true for one in four men. Statistics like this are always disheartening to read, but they also emphasize the immense importance of programs such as OneLove, and the work that students like Eichler and Zindler are leading on Connecticut College’s campus. Though Zindler will graduate this May, and Eichler will graduate in two years, the duo will be leaving a lasting and profound legacy at Connecticut College, because OneLove is here to stay.
