Much to Francesca's chagrin, speed dating is world-wide phenomenon. Photo from web.
Never have I feared more for my generation. After experiencing the Speed Dating event held last Friday at Harris, I have come to the conclusion that meaningful relationships are on the way out. We now live in a culture where casual sex and hooking up are the norm and the words “I want you now,” are more acceptable than “I want to have dinner with you.” The Facebook page made the event look promising, as many people seemed to be attending, the operative word being “seemed.”
Tables in the “anti-social” room at Harris were set up side-by-side in a traditional speed dating fashion. Signs with questions like “pancakes or waffles” served as conversation starters, as well as little centerpieces with assorted vegetables and lettuce. The one and only James O’Connor ’15 played the saxophone in the background. Each artificial date was two minutes long, so only the basics were covered in conversation: name, year, interests, major etc.
About fifteen people showed up. I “dated” more freshman girls than I would have liked to, although it was nice to meet new people. Maybe it was the fact that Fusion was being held at the same time or that people just chickened out, but there simply weren’t enough people for the event to be taken seriously. The first thing that came out of most peoples’ mouths were, “I’m just doing this for shits and giggles” followed by nervous laughter.
One thing I’ve noticed since coming to Conn is that people hook up a lot. People get prepped for dances and parties in the hopes that they will get to make out with someone they don’t really know. No one dates here, and if they do, it’s with someone from their high school with whom they are liable to break up at any second. I’m not a licensed shrink, but I do feel that there is a degree of insecurity involved in this whole fiasco. When people hook up, it’s about sexual attraction and nothing more. They may lose their virginity or gain an STD but, at the end of the night, nobody owes anybody anything. You can be with someone for an hour and not be obligated to deal with him or her ever again. When you want to date someone, your personality and self-esteem are on the line. If the other person isn’t into you, you feel like a failure, and nobody wants to feel that way.
The reverse situation is equally difficult. When someone’s into you but you aren’t feeling it, you don’t want to look like a jerk by rejecting them. Speed dating is supposed to fix these problems. It seems like a perfect scenario in theory. You can have a civil conversation with someone without feeling obligated to marry them. In reality, it’s a perfect disaster. You have a painfully basic conversation for what seems to be the longest two minutes ever. I even managed to get insulted in one of those two-minute speed dating sessions when I told someone my possible major and he looked at me like I was an idiot before sarcastically asking me what I planned to do with it. Then, another girl blatantly tried to act weird by staring at me like some deranged nurse at an archaic mental institution.
The background music was a nice touch, but it ended up being more distracting than seductive. What was even better was that I was seated right by the entrance so I had a perfect view of people peering in and laughing at the absurdity of the situation. So, after coming to the conclusion that no one was taking this seriously, I wondered why they came in the first place. Was it that they secretly wanted to find their life-mate and acted like they didn’t care for fear of looking desperate? Do people want a meaningful relationship? I’m just not sure anymore. I’m also not sure what people get out of hooking up with some drunken person who wants to take advantage of them. Meaningless sex weekend after weekend can’t be that fulfilling. As a single female I would like to think that there is some hope for the future, but speed dating has encouraged me not to hold my breath. •
