William Shakespeare once wrote, “He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man.” Shakespeare’s opinion was accurate for the sixteenth century. Until recently, beards exponentially upgraded a man’s reputation. But in contemporary America, especially at Connecticut College, beards have become obsolete and lost all popularity on campus. However, it all changed three months ago when Peter Herron embarked on the journey of a lifetime: he decided to stop shaving.
“I just kinda got lazy for a week. I realized that I could get away with it for a bit longer,” Peter says in reference to his over-three-month-long growth period. He leans back in his chair in the anti-social room of Harris, pulls a piece of lettuce from his beard, and pops it in his mouth. In addition to serving as a fourth type of eating utensil, his beard also transcends the laziness that inspired it. “I was honestly too scared to get rid of it,” Peter admits, “I need it for warmth and protection. It seems hard to imagine a world without the beard.”
That cold, dangerous world is rapidly approaching, as the date of manscaping has already been set. On February 20, Peter and his beard will no longer share the same life. In what Peter refers to as a “bromance” and an “intimate relationship,” strong bonds have been tied. “He and I have a great time together. A lot of laughs, a lot of drinks, a lot of meals,” Peter concedes, clarifying that his beard is in fact a male. Unfortunately for these two best buds, all good things must come to an end.
In this first official interview of Peter and his beard, though their sadness is noticeable, their nostalgic description of their joint journey paints a revealing picture of a dream come true. On the Conn Coll Confessional database, one thread is filled with posts paying homage to Peter and his beard. “We’ve picked up some huge fans. I’m absolutely thrilled about it. I hope to see a copycat effect and more beards on campus.”
However, in addition to support, the duo has been criticized for their unorthodox look. The ConnColl Confessional thread is filled with political, socioeconomic and cultural debates. Peter has tried to stay detached from the arguments, but racist and hateful posts about him such as “dirty Irishman” and “He smells so f***ing bad” have cut straight to the core. “It’s just so hurtful,” Peter admits, tears streaming into his beard, “But I guess you take the good with the bad.”
Peter has had some challenges with his beard in the real world too. His parents have refused to acknowledge the new look. On Christmas, not a single member of his extended family even heckled him for his beard. Peter rationalizes the absence of heckling as his family’s attempt to not offend him. In Ireland, the norms of facial hair are quite different. According to Peter, for an Irish man to grow a full beard, he either has to be a “traditional Irish musician, a severe alcoholic or one of those weird guys in the streets who can’t speak and has no teeth.” Peter has thought about pursuing each of these occupations, but does not want to plan too far into the future.
He has bigger issues to deal with right now.
Most significantly, the response from the female population in his life has been “nonexistent.” Pre-beard, Peter never found himself short of potential female suitors. Most girls relished the opportunity to have a drink or share a toke with the quick-witted, clean-shaven Irish lad. Peter now faces a “frighteningly silent” female population. After a typical Friday night spent in the library, Peter unwinds in Cro only to be heckled by girls telling him he’s “freakin’ weird” and “freakin’[them] out.” He knows this is only temporary, since the beard phase will soon come to pass. But still, his frustration with his own female situation is clear. “Girls used to talk to me, but maybe didn’t remember me. Now girls won’t talk to me, but will remember me.”
Many supporters of the beard are clamoring for Peter not to shave. Luckily for them, even if he does, other substitutes are open for support. When asked if he grows out his hair in other places, Peter responded without hesitation, “Yes, I do. My beard is a great representation of other parts of my body. In every way. Just invert it.” One only has the capacity to imagine so much.
Additionally, some members of the chemistry department at Conn have asked Peter to donate his beard to science. “I’ve gotten letters from multiple departments at the college to donate the beard. I’m an organ donor, so I think it goes the same way.” However, Peter is leaning toward framing it in his room. Too much effort has gone into his bearded strife. The heated beard debate is sure to continue, but one fact remains inarguable: Peter would have made Shakespeare proud. •
