On Sept 7, at 11:51 am, Mac Miller was pronounced dead in his Los Angeles home from an apparent drug overdose. Minutes after the news of Miller’s death spread through the news, internet trolls swarmed Ariana Grande’s Instagram page and left hateful comments accusing her of contributing to the 26 year old rapper’s death. Less than ten minutes after these comments began appearing on her page, Grande closed the comment section on her Instagram account, but not after dozens of users posted cruel and hateful messages such as “This is your fault” and “You did this to him.” These comments only served to wrongly accuse Grande for the overdose of Miller, with whom she had ended her engagement in May. In June, she became engaged to comedian Pete Davidson.
TMZ first hinted at Grande’s culpability when it broke the news of his death. “Miller has had trouble recently with substance abuse…in the wake of his breakup with Ariana Grande.” It later changed this statement to say, “Miller has battled substance abuse issues for years…something that came up again in the wake of his breakup with Ariana Grande.” The original statement is half true. Mac Miller did have issues with substance abuse, but those issues existed long before his relationship with Grande ended. The 26-year-old rapper had been open about his drug use that started when he was fifteen and alluded to it in many of his songs. But this is not the first time that Ariana Grande has been indicted for Miller’s issues. After a 2016 hit and run car accident by Miller, the pop singer faced similar harassment on Twitter. Eventually she responded, releasing a statement that said “I am not a babysitter nor a mother and no woman should feel that they need to be.” She never described him as anything other than someone she cared for but who had a disease he couldn’t control.
Addiction is a never ending battle and it is one that is represented all over the covers of magazines, but is not something people want to talk about. People may believe that drug addiction can end through sheer willpower, but it is, in fact, a disease and quitting takes much more than willpower. Drugs change the brain in ways that make quitting hard, even for those who want to. The National Institute of Drug Addiction website states that repetitive drug use can also change the user’s brain in ways that challenge self control and interfere with a person’s ability to resist the urge to take drugs. This is the nature of addiction. Recent drug relapse statistics from the American Addiction Center show that more than 85% of individuals discharged from treatment return to drug use within the following year.
It is safe to say that no one caused Mac Miller’s death except for himself. Ariana Grande did not buy him his drugs. Maybe their breakup worsened his depression, but it alone did not cause the overdose. Mac Miller certainly needed help, but Grande did not have to be the one to give it to him. To burden a woman for the choices her ex-boyfriend makes perpetuates the idea that women must care for men while men are free to do as they like. When was the last time a man was criticized for his girlfriend’s behavior? No woman can be a 12-step sobriety program. You do not have to look too far to find a woman unfairly cast with responsibility for her male companion. When Kurt Cobain was discovered dead on April 8, 1994 after committing suicide three days prior, grieving fans and even investigators looked into the possibility of foul play in his death, with the most popular suspect being Cobain’s wife, Courtney Love. This accusation was based on nothing except a general dislike of Love and a need to blame someone for Cobain’s death. Cobain also suffered from drug addiction and depression. Like Miller, some responsibility for Cobain’s death was transferred to his wife.
Miller’s death is a tragedy for the music industry, and for his family, friends and fans. In our society, it seems easier to ignore the ugly complications of addiction and find a scapegoat to blame for his death. We blame women for what happens to their exes because we see them as their partners’ caretakers and not their equals, while we tell men with troubled exes that they “dodged a bullet.” It is a sign of society’s outdated ideas that a woman is expected to be a caretaker and a mother to wayward men. Not until the court of public opinion stops trying women for the behaviors of their male companions will we ever move forward and evolve into a world with more equal treatment of the sexes. •
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