Courtesy of Robbie Lynch ’24
Horoscopes courtesy of Orion, Cassiopeia, & Andromeda
Aries
Turn the music down in your dorm, your roomie doesn’t appreciate it. Headphones exist for a reason.
Taurus
It may be midterm season, but we know you’re looking forward to something else: cuffing season. You either got back together with your ex over fall break or you’re on the hunt. Remember to
Gemini
You’ve got some challenges coming up, but don’t back down. You have to stand up for yourself at some point, might as well be today!
Cancer
The single life is for you. Dump that side piece, you need some time for yourself. It’s time to get some tears flowing, they don’t deserve you.
Leo
Do something with spray paint this week. There is a concrete slab for this purpose behind Cummings – use it, and thank me later.
Virgo
Those midterms are heavy on your mind, and they should be. They are gonna suck, so grit your teeth and bear down. There is light at the end of the tunnel!
Libra
Make that decision! Roll a die, cue up a random number generator, or just ask a friend to tell you what to do. Then…actually commit to it. Truly, save yourself any more suffering and full steam ahead.
Scorpio
It’s time to enter your existential crisis. You’re ready and, I can assure you, that question that’s been weighing on your mind is a promising one.
Sagittarius
Cool your jets, it’s not that serious. Time to do some meditation and drink some water. Your roommate will appreciate it.
Capricorn
Come out of your cave and spend some relaxed time with your friends. It is possible to make time for yourself as well as your work.
Aquarius
Hand some candy out to faculty kids to fill your soul. Steal a few pieces for yourself too, you could use a sugar boost.
Pisces
Get out your watercolors and tarot cards. It’s time for some hardcore mysticism. Wander in the Arbo until you find yourself or God or the ghost haunting the woods.
