In 2018, Keith Habersberger, Ned Fulmer, Zach Kornfeld , and Eugene Lee Yang left the behemoth media corporation Buzzfeed to create their own company: 2nd Try LLC. The four men had worked together at Buzzfeed under the title “The Try Guys” and brought the moniker to their own business, trying everything from sampling the entire Panera Bread menu, to performing a drag show, to challenging a poker champion, and so much more.
As Keith and Zach noted on a recent podcast, The Try Guys premise was originally unique because it followed fairly average guys trying new things. However, as the brand grew, these four men became a whole lot less average. They have devoted fans, over 8 million subscribers on their Youtube channel, and are generally well-known, and their relatability is intrinsic to their appeal. The Try Guys are often distilled to a few base identifiers, and essentially represent a character of themselves. Each has a signature color, a few symbols, and some base components of their identity that make them an easily recognizable brand. Any Try Guys fan would know that Keith cares deeply for fried chicken, Zach is passionate about tea, Eugene has impeccable style, and Ned loves his wife.
Therefore, the Try Guys’ massive audience was shocked when it was revealed that Ned not only cheated on his wife, but did so repeatedly, with someone who works for him. This article is not to explain the drama of the situation, a quick google search can accomplish that. Instead, we will be analyzing why the general public – far beyond the most dedicated Try Guys fans – are so enraged that a medium-attractive, slightly annoying, white man cheated on his wife. The reason seems simple: we thought we knew who Ned was and we were wrong, but this situation can teach us more about monetizing identity and parasocial relationships.
Ned’s “character” on the Try Guys was centered on his identity as a husband and father. He frequently talked about his family, and they were often featured in Try Guys content and on his personal social media pages. His wife, Ariel Fulmer, is one of the hosts of a Try Guys podcast “You Can Sit With Us” and has frequent cameos on the channel. Over the years, Ariel has become a beloved part of the team, perhaps more so than her husband. As one TikTok creator analyzing the situation said, “The most interesting thing about Ned was always Ariel.” The Fulmers had a podcast about parenthood, published a “Date Night Cookbook” together, and have even hosted seminars about healthy relationships. Not only is Ned’s personal identity that of a caring and faithful husband, but his professional identity is too. In making the choice to marry these identities and monetize his relationship with Ariel, Ned made his wife his business partner. Yet, Ned and Ariel are not equal in these transactions. He was an owner of 2nd Try LLC, he was pre-established with Buzzfeed, and he was praised as a working father, while working mothers often face stigma. This inherent inequality, combined with Ned’s infidelity, transforms Ariel from a partner in his business, to an object of his business. This is not only upsetting because fans thought they knew Ned; it is upsetting because Ned’s Try Guys persona is meant to be a symbol of ideal fathers and husbands. He makes his living representing the model family man, so straying so far from that character feels that much more disingenuous. The person who was previously seen as charming because he couldn’t stop talking about how great his wife was a, is now seen as a liar using the mother of his children to boost his image, ego, and bank account while he disrespects her, their marriage, and their children. Of course, this scandal would leave any observer feeling, well, scandalized, but Try Guys fans and even outsiders familiar with the guys feel betrayed not just because of Ned’s atrocious behavior but because it feels like they know him personally.
This scandal reminds us of the hard truth about fame: we think that we know famous people, but we don’t. Through their relatable content and comedy, we build parasocial relationships believing celebrities are our friends. This understanding, though, is just the persona of the celebrity, not a friendship. Fame splits the person into a persona, or who we think they are, and their real selves. When a celebrity acts outside of their persona, we are scandalized. We thought we actually knew them. There is also an element of nostalgia present in this scandal. The Try Guys’ audience is mainly people in their late teens and early twenties, many of whom watched The Try Guys on Buzzfeed, and followed the group’s transition to their own channel. This strengthens the parasocial relationships because as The Try Guys were growing their business, their fans were growing up. The Try Guys’ honesty and transparency through the process of starting their own company and beyond, made fans feel even more included in the real lives of Keith, Ned, Zach, and Eugene, which is a huge aspect of the group’s appeal. However, since some fans have been both invested in and looking up to these men for nearly a decade, this heartbreaking scandal feels personal. Ned and Ariel’s online presence, and monetization of their personal lives, gave people a license to take sides, be- come personally invested, and express both their outrage toward Ned and support for Ariel as though they are personal friends.
With all the media coverage on the celebrity couple, we can’t help but feel conflicted. The public loves a good story, but at what emotional cost to the real people involved? As entertaining as controversies are, they spark rumors, speculation, and in-fighting among the fan base on whose side to take. The truth is, it’s not our business to inquire, but we feel conflicted on how we regard celebrities. What is the function of a celebrity if not to entertain us? On the flip side, we do not know the nuances and complexities of Ariel and Ned’s personal lives, and we are not owed this information, even if we feel entitled to it. Already, Ariel’s Instagram comments have been flooded with people urging her to leave Ned without taking into account that she has children and a house with him, not to mention a will of her own. There has to be a middle ground of interacting with celebrities who have a positive impact on our lives without infringing on theirs.
In a recent podcast episode, Zach and Keith debriefed the whole situation candidly and casually. “I think that you are valid and okay to feel sad about this even though these are not people that you knew in real life,” Zach said, addressing fans directly. “I know that the word parasocial’s been thrown around a lot and then some people have tried to make you feel bad for having that parasocial attachment to begin with. You’re allowed to care about the content you watch and you’re allowed to care about us if we’ve had an impact on your life.” •
