Written by 8:00 am News, SGA

SGA: Rampant Theft Across Campus Stuns Newcomer Chartwells

OCT. 24 — Picture it: I’ve got a Tupperware of delicious strawberry cake with vanilla frosting and rainbow sprinkles in front of me that I’m casually taking bites from as the meeting starts up. Life is wonderful because I have cake. Roll call is going around. I take a bite. Then they call “Class of 2025 President” immediately. So, it’s all off to a great start, my mouth is full of cake as I try to enunciate “here!” Really, it’s good stuff. Welcome to another Thursday evening in Ernst Common Room with me, your humble host. 

The special guest of the evening was Assistant Dean of the College for Connections Libby Friedman ‘80 to provide a preview/review of the upcoming All-College Symposium and general Connections curriculum. Friedman describes herself as the shepherd of Connections, the general education program at Conn. 

The All-College Symposium, which first began in 2019, can be considered the culmination of Connections as seniors present what they’ve learned about themselves and the world through an interdisciplinary liberal arts lens. For a preview of the sixth annual All-College Symposium, please read “Connectictions Culmination: A Preview of the Sixth Annual All-College Symposium,” also published in this edition. 

Friedman stressed throughout the open forum that she welcomes and appreciates feedback at any time, both on the Symposium and on Connections as a whole. She emphasized that shared governance extends to shared authority and decision-making in regards to Conn’s academic curriculum.

She said, “Shared governance is big. You know, this is your curriculum and your program.” Friedman would love to work with students to ensure Connections is meeting their needs now and for their goals after graduation. 

Following the open forum, we were onto the government business of approving the minutes and lamenting the lack of any new or old resolutions (resolutions are SGA legislation, and they can be drafted by any student. Just reach out to a member of SGA, like your House Senator, who can provide you with more information). 

In officer reports, the incessant myth of engagement-based housing deductions was raised once again. Chair of Residential Life Tenzin Choedak ‘27 and Associate Dean of Campus Life and Advisor to SGA Geoff Norbert explained that, though the school has begun to try to implement a check-in process for events around campus, this is entirely unrelated to the housing lottery. The check-in system has been implemented with the goal of increasing understanding around the demographics of students who participate in events in general or in specific kinds of events so the college can provide more effective and interesting programming. 

Though the idea of engagement-based housing deductions was concocted at a point in time, most people have detested it vehemently, so it is quite unlikely that it will ever happen, especially not while any current students are still at Conn. 

In other news, Student Activities Council announced that they are not interested in procuring a rapper for yet another consecutive year and will be looking into other genres of music for Floralia. 

The Dining Committee, through Class of 2027 President Julia Toyer ‘27, reported on their meeting the previous day in which they discussed labeling, takeovers, sunbutter, mozzarella sticks, and the rampant out-of-control dishware theft occurring on campus. In short order for the first four: Peter Johnson will talk to Toby Chenette about labeling, students interested in dining hall “takeovers” should talk to Peter who will talk to someone named Alex, sunbutter cups may have returned, and Toyer would like to see mozzarella sticks make a comeback as well (to this, Peter said he would talk to people). In even shorter order: there will be an amount of talking.

Now, about the theft: stop stealing. The dining halls have completely run out of coffee cups and had to spend thousands of dollars on resupplying non-disposable dishware. Many members of the assembly had thoughts on this. Much of it came down to the desire for disposable cups, which Chartwells is hesitant to provide for sustainability reasons. 

Though some students made a case for paper cups as biodegradable, Chair of Sustainability Grace Webb ‘27 explained “The issue with paper cups is that they look like they are paper, but they have a coating that is wax. So, they aren’t breaking down into biodegradable paper, they’re breaking down into microplastics.”

However, she also expressed that she understands the inconvenience of lacking a to-go option for liquids like soups and drinks. The Office of Sustainability and the Environmental Model Committee are working on a Conn-tainer option to address this. The Office’s Waste Reduction team is working on developing “Camel Cups,” which would be suited for coffee or other drinks and work similarly to the current Conn-tainers program. 

Toyer said, “The general thing is, if you do take a bowl, just please give it back. Like, you can take the bowls—well, you can ‘take the bowls’—but please just return them.”

Students are currently still unofficially permitted to remove dishes from the dining halls, despite the slim chance that it seems they will ever return, but this is not a true policy. It is a permission based on trust, like when you lend a pencil to a friend. But then they take all your pencils. And throw them away. And ask for more. 

Norbert lamented that students are even bringing dishes back to residence halls and then expecting the custodial staff to take care of them. To be clear, that is not their job at all. 

Student Activities Council representative Dexter Knight-Richard ‘27 put the conversation into perspective as he summarized the argument: “We’re upset that this company is trying to be a little more sustainable and saying that now we have to steal from them.” In this conclusion, of course, he was being sarcastic. 

If you see some dishes, just bring them back to the dining halls. 

On Halloween the assembly reached a number of important conclusions: Halloweekend is two weekends this year (this past one and this upcoming one) and, just as throughout the whole year, people should not be racist on Oct. 31. 

In case you chose to read these out of chronological order (…odd choice but go off), please note that the purpose of this column is to be factual and entertaining while providing information about student government for those both on and off campus. All readers should remember that I am very, very biased. I am the writer and the overseer of the editor and a member of SGA myself. While I do my best to never misrepresent the events of the evening, if you are someone who prefers unbiased journalism, you won’t find that paradox here. 

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