… a lot about stoats.
You know, mustela erminea, the ermine? I was recently trying to decide whether I would want to have a frenetic or docile pet stoat. At first, the answer should be a simple “docile!” because all pets are supposed to be friendly and tame. But then I began to think about the implications of a domesticated stoat breed.
Stoats are frenetic, yet slightly monkish. Determinedly they scuttle about in the middle of the food chain, dodging predatory birds while severing the spinal cords of rabbits with razor-sharp incisors.
Would docility turn these playful creatures into something like the domesticated ferret, scorned by most of society and mocked in films such as The Big Lebowski? Would the stoat, previously prized by European nobility for its plush fur and hunting ability, lose its esteem if it were turned into a pet?
I have attempted to start this discussion on various ferret forums (by the way, http://forum.ferret.com is a very good one. You can find me by my username, st0atl0rd) and the few responses I’ve gotten have either been lacking in factual arguments and the forum participants are generally mistaken. I figure I’ll just put my position out here for anyone to critique:
It is my opinion that the only way to truly appreciate a bond with a stoat without compromising its integrity as a species is to study its habits and then develop ways of winning their trust. I think this can be done through a process that utilizes scent recognition with the cyclical offering of a stoat’s favorite snack over a long time (definitely rabbit!). Offering food to these skittish stoats in the winter months, while they are especially desperate (due to its high metabolism even during the winner) would be a good strategy. I could probably track down some grant money for this, and the research seems pretty straightforward (I am not a science guy). Essentially I would track a stoat throughout the winter and offer it food a few times a day.
The experiment may be a failure, but the payoffs could be incredible. It’s a lot like this Bruce Willis movie called Pulp Fiction where Bruce Willis knows he should throw his boxing match but ultimately he risks life and limb to win a bet.
