I haven’t been at Connecticut College very long, though in my short time here I have made a habit of three things: wearing bandanas, meditating on the green and going for walks during the wee hours of the night. My typical walk takes me from Larrabee, around the green, back up past Windham, and then finally back to the Cold-War era architectural monstrosity where I sleep, usually. Over the course of these little strolls, three things tend to be constant, especially on Thursday and Saturday nights. Here they are listed in order of smelliness: litter, skunks and severely intoxicated students.
Let’s start with the issue of litter. When I applied to Conn, I was really drawn to the school’s commitment to environmentalism and sustainability, specifically the solar-powered camel which used to be in front of Cro, but the missing camel is another issue entirely. If you happened to be walking about after the Rave a few weeks ago and were conscious, you might have thought that campus had been raided by some sort of nomadic frat party which had stopped over at Conn while on its way to Atlantic City for a weekend of gambling, hookers and venereal disease.
But as far as I know no such band of nomads exists, so we must now examine our own actions if we are to shed some light on this issue. We have all littered at some point in our life, but this is our home. If you are going to make a mess you don’t do it in your own home. Being drunk is no excuse to be an ass, especially when there are more trashcans and recycling bins on campus than there are faculty members. Walk one hundred feet in any direction, and chances are if you have not run into some form of waste disposal, then you are at the Coast Guard Academy, in which case the whole world is your trash can.
But really, if you can sink the skill shot in beer pong, I think you are quite capable of tossing that beer can into a designated recycling bin. And even if you didn’t litter, when you see trash, please pick it up. It’s called the green not the aluminum and plastic. The only possible excuse is that while you are shotgunning that can of Busch, Keystone or Natty Light, you forget that you are drinking what passes in America for beer, and instead suspect that you might be drinking urine. What happens next is usually a blur, but it tends to follow the order of you chucking that can of warm piss, running to the bathroom – or towards some form of shrubbery if a bathroom is not available – and then vomiting. You can avoid such situations by instead drinking alcohol which is fit for human consumption, but always do so in a responsible and safe manner, which just so happens to be my next point.
Know your limit. College is very much about having fun, but when that fun comes at the exception of yours and others wellbeing, you are being a douche. It is a proven fact that the more people drink, the dumber they get, the sole exception to this being my roommate. Things like fire and moving cars seem a lot less dangerous when you think you have sixteen fingers and the skunk you just saw was speaking fluent Portuguese.
Being blackout drunk might seem fun in the moment, but given that you aren’t going to remember half of what you said or did, you might as well take up an equally fruitless habit like sledding uphill or majoring in art history. The exception being that when you get shitfaced you aren’t just harming yourself. You are very likely harming others as well. Maybe you break something, or maybe someone has to clean up your vomit at two in the morning. Maybe you say something vulgar and offensive and ruin a friendship, or maybe, just maybe, you wake up in the hospital, scared shitless, and with no recollection of what happened to you last night.
I realize that this article is somewhat scattered, but believe it or not, there is an underlying theme.
Does anybody remember this line from matriculation, ”I pledge to take responsibility for my beliefs, and to conduct myself with integrity, civility, and the utmost respect for the dignity of all human beings.”
That might as well be poetry, because it is beautiful. ”For the dignity of all human beings,” sounds like a teaching of the Buddha.
And it might as well be, because just in case you didn’t realize, the whole part about having the utmost respect for the dignity of all human beings is not conditional, it’s universal.
So whether you are drunk or sober, every individual you encounter on this campus is part of one great big extended family – a family that is supposed to care for all of its members, a family, which above all else, recognizes and reveres the dignity of all human beings.
If you take away anything from this little sermon of mine, let it be this: Through our actions, we will determine whether our traditions, our honor code, our commitments to this planet are actual defining facets of this institution or nothing more than admissions material bullshit. Like Captain Planet was so fond of saying, “The Power is Yours!”
As for skunks, try and treat them with a little dignity as well. And if they raise their tail, run…
