Potential candidates vying for the GOP’s selection to take on Barack Obama in 2012. Top row (from left to right): Michele Bachmann, Hermain Cain, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman. Bottom row: Ron Paul, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney.
My new favorite television show: Republican National Debates. A few beers, a few friends and it’s a guaranteed laugh-party every single episode. October 18 was no exception. This show proved to me that it has staying power, getting a little more ridiculous with each successive episode while still maintaining its core appeal. It’s a shame that reality shows like this have to vote contestants off in order to “stay relevant” and “choose one Presidential candidate” because I would love to see this same gang have it out every single episode (with the notable exception of Jon Huntsman, who was not present during the last debate because he was campaigning in the early primary state of New Hampshire).
The plot thickened on the October 18 installment, and we saw some of the cast members truly develop into bold and interesting characters. Divisions were further entrenched in the Republican camp, and the heat was on. I was ready for some GOP action.
Just in case you missed it, here was the cast list for CNN’s October 18 debate: Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul and Rick Perry. Here are the highlights:
The most “misunderstood” of the bunch, Herman Cain, CEO of Godfather’s Pizza, was under a flurry of criticism from the other debaters for his “9-9-9” (nein-nein-nein) tax plan. “Herman’s well meaning and I love his boldness…but the reports are out…84% of Americans will pay more taxes under his plan,” said Santorum. Ouch, Herman! The trend throughout the evening was to refer to him as Herman (Rick Perry called him “brother”) because apparently he has never held public office but thinks it would be totally legit to try out for President. Although I don’t really understand the semantics of his tax plan and have never eaten at Godfather’s Pizza, it just sounds like a fake area code to me and therefore it’s probably a bad tax plan.
My personal favorite character, Texas Governor Rick Perry, got quite rowdy during the debate, especially while addressing token Mormon Mitt Romney. “Mitt,” he said, “you lose all of your standing, from my perspective, because you hired illegals in your home and you knew about it for a year. And the idea that you stand here before us and talk about that you’re strong on immigration is on its face the height of hypocrisy.”
Oh my. The height of hypocrisy. A verbal dagger in the heart of Mr. Mitt, swiftly delivered by the handsomest man on the planet. And guess how Mitty retorted? “I don’t think I’ve ever hired an illegal in my life.” You don’t think? You’re going to have to do better than that, Romney— you’re rassling with Longhorn Rick. Turns out Mitt didn’t knowingly hire “illegals” to work on his yard, but he used a company that did hire “illegals.” Drama! These two really went mano-a-mano on immigration issues, and Mitty even went for a little shoulder cop at one point. Most of the others took jabs at Mitt about immigration, too, but only Michele Bachmann dared to suggest we build a double fence along the U.S.-Mexican border. Bold call, Shelly.
Michele Bachmann, or BTO as I like to call her, had the “Quote of the Night” in this episode. The question that prompted this zinger was about budget cuts, since Republicans are keen on cutting everything from healthcare to primary schooling. “Now with the president, he put us in Libya. He is now putting us in Africa. We already were stretched too thin, and he put our special operations forces in Africa,” she said. This is about the time I hit the floor laughing. In case you didn’t know, Libya happens to be located in Africa. Michele Bachmann has been experiencing a dip in her popularity as a potential GOP candidate. Once considered a serious contender for nomination, she has been continuously tumbling in ratings because she says things like this. On a comedic level, though, she is definitely near the top of the ratings for me.
The “Oh No You Didn’t” moment of the night came from Rick Santorum, also known as “that other Rick running for President.” He very underhandedly suggested that the Republicans could win over the Hispanic community by turning them against the LGBTQ community; never mind all of those harsh immigration policies that Republican legislators have instilled in Arizona and Alabama. He used some great buzzwords like “faith,” “family,” “marriage” and “traditional values” to sell his idea. Although some believe he wasn’t really suggesting this, it sure sounded like he was. Total shock value points for Santorum, though a bit inappropriate.
Overall, this was a fantastic debate, proving that absolutely none of these people are actually fit to be President of the United States. It was chock full of stage laughs, jeers, slogans, and Rick Perry going all Rick Perry on the competition. Although they pursue independent media coverage like speeches and town hall meetings, the Republican candidates really shine when they get to go head-to-head with each other. I have no idea when the next debate is, but you can be sure I will clear my schedule to watch it no matter what, since I do not own a DVR. Until then, happy watching, y’all. •
