There has been much ado about a certain member of the influenza A family which I will abstain from naming because you are probably tired of hearing the name. In the midst of hysteria, flagrant and insulting paternalism, and disingenuous concern for everyone with a runny nose and a cough, I hope to bring a few new facts to your attention, ones that may put your mind at rest, or maybe freak you out even more. Who knows which it will be, but you’d better keep reading – Jesus and the CDC agree that it could mean your life.